Who is supposed to control the home today? Is it the child or the parents? Why is authority one of the most important foundations for a happy home? When we study the animal world--the bear, the cow, the horse, the rabbit, the chicken, etc., have we learned that animal parents train, provide, protect, and control, but the little animals obey?
It is a principle of the goodness and wisdom of God at work woven into their existence. Authority is vital to all life and survival--at home, in the church, in education, and in government. As parents and as church leaders, we have a grave responsibility because, under the guidance of God, you and I are directing the destinies of immortal souls.
When a new baby is born into a home, that child brings with it a consciousness of the POWER AND AUTHORITY OF OUR CREATOR WHO CREATED MARRIAGE AND THE HOME. Read Genesis 1:27-28 again, and recognize that God created man and woman while giving authority and responsibility to them. Again, the Bible says, “For I have known him,” said Jehovah of Abraham, “to the end that he may command his children and his household after him that they may keep the way of Jehovah” (Genesis 18:19). Many parents are failing to teach their sons and daughters how to live and how to know and love God. I think that all parents need to frequently renew and revise their attitudes and check on the goals that they have established for themselves and their children. All parents need to remember that “Children are a heritage of Jehovah...Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them” (Psalm 127:3,5). Help your children to be a monument to your faithfulness to God and love for God.
Even though it has been almost three months since I was an officer, a counselor, a Case Manager, a Horticulture Instructor, and a Chapel Speaker in one of the largest private prisons systems in America, it continues to disturb me to almost weekly receive letters from prisoners who write about being products of absentee fathers and broken homes. Bitter tears flowed down the faces of many grown men when they learned that their Spiritual Dad was moving to South Louisiana. Some of these men had religion, but most of them, until they came in contact with a witnessing Christian, never had a vital faith in God and a salvation through Jesus Christ. They spend their years hungering for a father-figure who demonstrated love and authority that they failed to get at home or in church. After receiving Christ, their attitude and behavior changed.
Consider the millions of children growing up with no parents or with foster parents, or they live in institutions with no one interested in adopting them. Millions are reared in unhappy, spiritually hollow-shelled homes filled with drugs and filled with bitter, sour, family strife instead of Christian happiness. Then, we wonder why our children are struggling in the classroom, joining gangs, running away from home, and using drugs.
Why do we have more than a quarter of a million illegitimate babies born in the United States alone? Little children are crying “Mommy--Daddy--don’t leave me!”
Let me tell you a little secret that few people know that happened to me. I remember my parents arguing only once. My dad didn’t have a clear head at the time because of some type of frustration and his anger.
My mother was packing his clothes. He was going to leave us. Most of my brothers and sisters had established their own families by this time.
Only my youngest brother, and two youngest sisters and I were still under the authority of our parents. I walked into the house from playing outside. The scene hit me like a brick, crushing my little heart. I remember one of sisters asking me--a five year old boy, “Which parent will you live with?” They attempted to explain the situation to me. My response was, “I want to live with both of my parents.” I started to cry. My Dad said to Mom, “Put the clothes back inside the closet. I can’t leave you and the kids.”
When will we discover that there are causes of successful, happy marriages? Bad effects are the result of bad choices and causes.
Adam allowed Eve to disobey God. Adam chose incorrectly and put the curse of sin upon all of us. Both of them became horrible failures in child raising. They apparently argued over and blamed each other (Genesis 3:17). Eve wore the pants. They raised a selfish, spoiled brute of a boy who murdered his brother. Like a lot of parents of today who sow sinful seeds into their kids, they harvest a horrible crop of fruit. Adam lived to see his sin at work in his offspring. Some turned to bloodlust, rape, murder, sexual perversion, killing, and stealing, etc.. Why? It was because Mama Eve and Daddy Adam broke God’s laws. God held Adam directly responsible for failure to perform his leadership role.
The Bible doesn’t leave us in the dark regarding our home relationships. Faith in and love for Christ will stabilize your home. It is very clear from the Word that the father should voice the standards and govern the conduct of his own household. Thank God for godly mothers who will, sometimes out of necessity, take the primary role of training her children as a “nurse cherisheth her own children” (I Thess. 2:7-8). When fathers fail to set the standard of what the children should do and become, there is an open door of opportunity for the Christian mother to fill the gap. Thank God for moms and grandparents who are reverently and faithfully teaching the Word of God while bringing conduct and Christian convictions, birthed in love and authority, into the home.
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